Smells Like Children: Archive

1 tag

“You can’t go out there, Charlie. There are bad people outside who would...”

– York. To his cat.

Aug 2nd

A Post About Posting

dustygozangas: onespooky-asskid: Posting: I’munna do it more often. BROOKLYN WE’RE ABOUT TO BE RELATED YOU HAVE TO POST MORE SO I CAN KNOW YOUUU OKAAAAAAAAY COOL YOUR JETS

Jul 5th

A Post About Posting

Posting: I’munna do it more often.

Jul 5th

I am so tempted to embarrass York with tons of old pictures.

Jul 5th

I have not been on in so long. Nothing has really happened, so I don’t have any updates. Sooo, this is just a hello! I’m alive.

May 31st

2 tags

May 31st

redfivestandingbye asked: Hey, I wanted to let you know about this podcast run by Adam Carolla's wife, Lynette, and Teresa Strausser. It's callled the Parent Experiment and it's basically a free "mom" podcast every Friday. I download for my uncle's wife, Seslie's mom, and she loves it because she actually goes to these mommy meetings run by a Burning Man group. Seslie is her first kid and...

Mar 8th

1 tag

Feb 26th

I’m really impressed with how well Nigel’s been taking everything. Between morning sickness and being crankier than usual, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was kinda put off. It’s been the opposite, though. He’s always here when I need him, and more then anything, he takes an interest in everything going on with me and the baby, which was something I really worried...

Feb 24th

“Your baby is starting to have sleeping and waking cycles, usually between 5 and 10 minutes long. You might even wake her if you cough! Your baby’s body and limbs are now growing faster than her head, and she looks more and more like a tiny person. Most of her movements will be in her limbs as she starts to test her muscles, perhaps even kicking with her feet. Your baby’s...

Feb 24th

1 tag

Feb 24th

Feb 13th

5 tags

Feb 13th

All with Nigel in the Room . . .

York: Hey, Brooklyn? I wanna talk to you about something kind of important. 
Me: . . . what is it? 
York: Well . . . does Nigel have a small penis? I mean, we're no strangers to what they say about black men, and . . . 
Me: . . . 
Nigel: . . . 
Me: I love you so much, York.

Feb 8th

Sometimes, I like to make Nigel say “Sheeeit,” like Tyrone from Requiem for a Dream. It greatly amuses me.

Feb 6th

I straightened Nigel’s hair yesterday. It took forever, but it was adorable. I only got one picture of it, but it was.

Feb 2nd

3 tags

By the end of your 2nd month of pregnancy, your baby will measure just under 1 inch, and he will weigh in at half an ounce. Yet his central nervous system and major organs will be nearly complete. His heart has four chambers, and by now his heart rate is probably a good, strong 160 beats per minute. That’s a rate that you’d achieve only after a sweaty workout! Your baby’s head...

Feb 2nd

2 tags

I just had a dream about really disgusting, huge maggotlike things coming out of my ladylike region. It was really scary. Pregnancy is giving me really fucked up dreams.

Feb 2nd

2 tags

I'm not creepy. My uncle just smells nice.

Myself: I always like having an excuse to go in the bathroom after you shower. 
York: Why's that? 
Myself: Because it always smells fucking awesome.

Feb 1st

I have made my Tumblr all pretty.

Jan 30th

redfivestandingbye asked: If I was in your place at your age, I would say/do the same thing. I think you are a very brave girl and very lucky to have an awesome uncle.

If you need someone to talk to or something about anything. Email me. That seems weird because we don't know each other, but if you ever need a stranger to talk/vent to, don't hesistate.

Jan 22nd

Sometimes, I just have to fucking laugh at it.

bicyclebuiltfortwo: More shit goes on in this family … Jesus Christ. We’ve got molestation and marital abuse and child abuse and drug abuse and over doses and suicide and mental illnesses and rape and car accidents and murder and alcoholics and incest and just. Oh my fucking God. Is this a joke? Honestly? How fucking lucky do you have to be to be born into this shit? Or better yet marry into...

Jan 21st

I'm pregnant.

STOP. Stop. Don’t fucking lecture me. I already know everything you’re going to say, so don’t even bother. I’ve graduated highschool early, I’ve saved quite a bit from the job I’ve had since I was 15, and York’s going to let me move back in with him tomorrow since he’s such an amazing uncle. I will be okay. Naturally, he was the first person I...

Jan 21st

4 tags

KATHERINE’S MOVING NEAR HERE SOON KATHERINE’S MOVING NEAR HERE SOON KATHERINE’S MOVING NEAR HERE SOON KATHERINE’S MOVING NEAR HERE SOON KATHERINE’S MOVING NEAR HERE SOON KATHERINE’S MOVING NEAR HERE SOON KATHERINE’S MOVING NEAR HERE SOON KATHERINE’S MOVING NEAR HERE SOON KATHERINE’S MOVING NEAR HERE SOON KATHERINE’S MOVING NEAR HERE SOON...

Jan 17th

Updates.

I hacked off all my hair and started dating my uncle’s black friend. WHEE!

Jan 7th

mylifeisunfortunate: Today, I had to explain to three children that they were going to live with a count. I then had to admit that I wasn’t sure if he was a third cousin four times removed, or a fourth cousin three times removed. MLIU

Dec 21st

mylifeisunfortunate: Today, I was paid. In coupons. MLIU

Dec 21st

5 notes

To all my followers.

bicyclebuiltfortwo: My associate, Mr. Phillips, and myself have created a new Tumblr. MLIU, or My Life is Unfortunate, has been created not only as a parody FML and MLIA, but to honor the works of Lemony Snicket. Follow it, and you can even suggest your own at unfortunance@aol.com Everything having to do with A Series of Unfortunate Events belongs to Lemony Snicket, this shit is just for...

Dec 21st

York is not really the calm, composed, mature motherfucker you may or may not think him to be.

Dec 5th

4 tags

I’m not sure if you guys can tell. But my new icon shows myself and York a large collections of months back. One arm is thrown behind his head, and I know you can’t tell, but the other is holding on to some of my hair. His own hair is poorly-straightened by none other than yours truly. He’s making a rather strange, humorous face. I have some great pictures of my uncle, but...

Dec 5th

I hate living an hour and a half away. I went from being able to walk to the apartment to living there to being an hour and a half away. This displeases me. Fix it.

Nov 21st

6 tags

York is picking me up shortly. I’m spending the weekend at the apartment. It’ll be so nice to be home again.

Nov 21st

A “friend” of mine just told me I shouldn’t like Marilyn Manson because “he killed a pregnant woman and ate her baby.” … What? Where did that come from? I can’t be the only person to have heard this bullshit.

Nov 6th

6 notes

6 tags

Always.

Dobry: I hate it when I wake up really hungry, but don't want to eat anything. D'you ever get that?
York: . . . no. 
Dobry: Not once? 
York: No. Did you honestly think I would? I'm ALWAYS really hungry. Which means I always want to eat.

Nov 6th

3 tags

That's why they call him Yorkie Smalls.

York: If I gotta choose a niece, I guess I gotta choose Brooklyn. She lives here. So don't come here. 
Myself: You'll be the next Biggie.
York: All I got is beef with those who violate she. I shall annihilate thee. 
Myself: The scary thing is that it's true.

Nov 3rd

Also, he’s really good at falling asleep on the couch. So if you have a lot of couches that need to have sleeping people on them, he’s your man.

Oct 29th

2 notes

My uncle is a cute fucker. You should make friends with him and have his babies. Seriously.

Oct 29th

4 tags

My uncle can beat up your uncle. Odds are he...

Myself: Why do you get so nice when you're tired? 
York: That is an excellent question. And like most excellent questions, I do not have an answer for it. 
Myself: It's like you're happier when you've gone for several days without sleep.
York: That's quite possible. Maybe I'm just too exhausted to  give enough of a shit to try to impress you motherfuckers. 
Myself: That was kind of a round-about way of saying that.
York: Well see? There you go.
Myself: I love you to death, York-o.
York: Right back atcha, sister.

Oct 29th

4 tags

Oct 27th

Sorry about the qualities of these. They all have to be pictures of pictures because the scanner’s dead.

Oct 27th

2 tags

Oct 27th

2 tags

Oct 27th

Oct 26th

4 tags

Oct 26th

York and I found an envelope of some of my older pictures. Which means I have to post at least one embarrassing picture of him. So I’ll get on that noooow.

Oct 26th

The best part about living with York, Dobry, and Lyneth is living with York, Dobry, and Lyneth.

Oct 20th

2 tags

Oct 20th